Who will take Europe?

This is part 1 of a 3 part article on continent claiming. Why 3 parts you ask? Because sometimes Earthfactor's beacons of truth shine so bright, it would blind honest hearted truth seekers to shine them all at once. This is why Earthfactor shall only deal with the continents of North and South America, and Antarctica in part 1. Parts 2 & 3 will deal with Asia, Africa, Australia and finally Europe.

There are many ways to claim a continent, and the first way we'll discuss is continentization. Con-ti-nent-i-za-tion: is the claiming of ownership of a continent by one country, when that country occupies less than 50% of the land mass of that continent. Americans are guilty of this form of continent claiming. (Fact: The United States only occupies less than 20% of the land mass of the North and South continents of the Americas.) Now when I say "Americans", do you think Brazilian? Canadian? Perhaps Guyanian? They are also located on the continents of North and South America. But who comes to mind? When the word "American " is spoken, you think of a red meat eating, gas guzzling, unbreakable comb buying, resident of the United States of America.

Why is that? Because they have done a great job of promoting themselves that way. The U.S. exports products and calls them "American" made. You don't see China doing that, labeling everything they produce as "Asian" made. And that's why they don't own Asia. But that's a topic for part 2. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Also, when visiting other countries, residents of the U.S. when asked their nationality, say they are "American". Eventually this caught on and other countries started using it. When i ordered 8 Espressos in Italy and poured them into one normal sized cup, they didn't call me a stupid United Statesian, they called me a stupid "American".

(Fact: They don't have normal sized cups of coffee in Europe, the large size does not exist, their coffee is served as a shot.) They have fooled their population by using the metric system. We here in America know a shot is one ounce, but this same size shot is a whole 30 milla litres on the metric system. To me that sounds like 30 million litres. Slow down there turbo, nobody needs that much coffee. So you can imagine my surprise when i saw the portion they had served me amounted to one big gulp. Did you know that a "big gulp" in Europe is the maximum amount of liquid you can fit down your mouth in one swallow? In America its 32 ounces!

Are the Europeans rationing their liquids? Here in America, the most successful coffee chain has 3 sizes. Tall: Which if you didn't know means large. Grande: Which means large in Spanish. and Venti: Which means large in Italian. So your choices are large, large or large. Stop hoarding your liquids Europe! Until you get your measurements right, you need to expect "Americans" to fix your portions. Europeans have been hiding their sizes behind the metric system long enough, and Earthfactor's beacon of truth was long overdue. Do not be misled, the metric system was designed to hide size!

Americans, being so successful in claiming the American continents, started to name the other residents found on their newly claimed continent. To the north it was easy, there was only one country, Canada, so all those to the north would be called Canadian. To the south it wasn't that simple. (Fact: There are 20 countries south of the United States on the continents of North and South America.) That's a lot to remember. So what Americans did, was simplify. Who is that person working for less than minimum wage? Is that a Brazilian, maybe a Costa Rican? No, if you live south, your a Mexican. But my parents were born in Venezuela. Guess what, you're a Mexican. But I was born here in the United States. Sorry, tu es un Mexicano.

And don't even get me started on what the Americans did to the Indians, the original residents of the Americas. Columbus thought he landed on the West Indies when he got to America. He called the residents "Indians" thinking they were from India. This name stuck. Even after finding out right away these were not people from India, they were still called "Indians". What's worse, is even the "Indians" started calling themselves "Indians". This would be like aliens coming to Earth, thinking they landed on Mars, and started calling us Martians. And then, after finding out this was actually Earth, still insisted on calling us Martians. And then we all started calling each other Martians. But I digress.

The last continent Earthfactor will discuss in part 1 of this series is Antarctica. Now this doesn't even qualify for continent claiming because its too cold. There aren't even any resident animals on Antarctica. Antarctica is a cold, lifeless mass that is ugly, miserable and makes everyone with it, miserable....much like my ex. Except Antarctica loses 5% of its mass every year to global warming. It seems global warming has the opposite effect on my ex. (Fact: My ex is fat.)......... Maybe she should switch to the metric system. (see reason for metric system above)

In my next 2 articles, Earthfactor will expose the continent claiming of Asia, Africa and Australia and why no one has claimed Europe yet.