Notes from the end of the Bench

The headline reads “American with swine flu dies”. Initially the reader is to assume in all horror that the “Brigade” has claimed their first American victim. The panic should now begin!

I will give you time to compose yourself…

As you are calming down, lowering the brown bag to your side, I should inform you of two facts. First, this happened in North Mexico otherwise known as Texas. Second, which you can only find out after scanning through a poorly written AP article, “Texas health officials stopped short of saying that swine flu caused (her) death”… she actually had “chronic underlying health conditions”. That is a nice way of saying her immune system didn’t work so well.

The underlying problem here… where can the News be found? The above story appeared to report the News, but after further investigation it was a sensationalized title, they really just wanted me to be scared enough to click to read the whole article so that I could see the adds for “Hot” singles in My area. If it would have said “Women in a coma gives birth then dies”, they know I would have just moved right past it to read, “Scary moments on ‘Idol’”. But by making me think that I was in danger… they sucked me in.

Were has Walter Cronkite gone, or even Paul Harvey? I flipped through the network channels stopping briefly for a riveting weather report, no News there! Granted it looked vaguely like the News, but with E! Entertainment sensibilities. CNN, Fox News, ESPN, all over hyped agenda pushing blood hunters, all fear - no substance. The Newspapers are going out of business, and the internet is just a vast wasteland of ads and pop ups.

What will it take to make the news more, well, newsy? Has this been the reality all along? Will ManBearPig be sending his assistant to my office with breakfast? That’s the News I would like to hear!